


Gone.

by PeachyDaniel



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Daniel Howell - Fandom, Danisnotonfire - Fandom, Phan, Phandom, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Phil Lester - Fandom, dan and phil
Genre: DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, M/M, Phan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 04:33:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15700248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachyDaniel/pseuds/PeachyDaniel
Summary: “And that was it, I didn't look back.  I was finally gone."





	Gone.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the longest thing I’ve ever written and I’m honestly really proud?? ALSO there’s a SMUT SCENE((and I’ve never wrote smut before so sorry that it’s gonna suck)) so if your not into the sexy times then skip that ish.
> 
> Please give me feedback in the comments :)
> 
> Word count: 2.4k
> 
> ((Some of the spacing is a bit off, I’m so sorry!! It’s not letting me fix it :/ ))

     It was a rather sultry day in England.  The clouds were swollen in the sky, their rich charcoal color blanketing the world.  Most people rushed down the sidewalks, clutching umbrellas as rain fell from the heavens.  I couldn't help but secretly judge them.  This weather was some how comforting to me.  The cool wind and drops of rain relaxed me.  
    I slowly made my way through the city, not even letting the concerned looks from passerby's phase me.  For some reason not carrying an umbrella mean everyone looks at you as if you're mad.  But I very well could be mad, anyone could.  
    The shops and cafes I passed were always tempting to me.  The dim lights broke through the darkness of the stormy weather.  The people inside looked happy, smiling, talking, sipping on lattes.  Something I never really got to do.  Coffee and things in shops cost money, and I wasn't wasting what I had earned.  Oh no.  That was saved for when I leave.  
     I'd been planning on leaving for months now.  I couldn't take it here anymore.  My father had a problem with drinking to much.  He had a history of getting fired for being drunk on the job, and sleeping with women that weren't my mother.  Despite it all she still stayed with him, though I couldn't fathom why.  My mother was a sweet women to my brother and I, she worked two jobs along with being controlled by my father.  He was not a kind drunk, and did not take a liking to us when he was to far gone, especially to her.  Yet she would still try her best, covering her bruises with makeup though they would still show through.  And blink back tears when dad would show up late to dinner, fully dressed with the smell of cheap perfume, lipstick on his collar, and alcohol on his breath.  
    My mother was the only family member I cared for.  My father and my brother were two things I tried my hardest not to mess with.  When I was 17 I had told mom I was gay, she was accepting, my brother who overheard, was not.  He went running to dad, breaking the news that his oldest son was a faggot.  Of all the anger I'd seen from the man who brought me into the world, this was the first time I'd seen the white hot rage in his eyes.  He made life even more hell for my mom and I after that.  
____________________________________  
     It took me 30 minutes to walk home everyday.  I worked at a small sweets store in town, the pay was shit but it was the best I could do.  Everyone in town knew me, and the wreck of a family I had.  No one wanted to deal with that.  So I was stuck with a pound under minimum wage and a eight to eight shift.   
     Home wasn't much better than the shop.  I had been living in a dinghy flat since I was 12 and a half. There was one good thing about living in that dump. Phil. We had met the week I moved in. His window was a cross from mine, a rusty fire escape connecting us. It started with a wave from behind the glass, neither of us knew that an extraordinary relationship would blossom from it.  
____________________________________  
     I quickly climbed the ladder leading to the fire escape, the rungs were cold through the soles of my warn shoes.  The fire escape creaked loudly as I stepped onto the rickety passage. I clung tightly to then hand rails as I tiptoed quickly across, only letting go once I'd reached Phil's window. I looked through the glass to see his back to me. He was sat at his desk. His dark locks slightly ruffled, and a loss tee shirt hung around his form.  
I opened the window with ease, this was our routine after all. I hopped inside, immediately the warmth of the bedroom overcame me. I closed the window as he turned to face me. His eyes had a glimmer to them, which somehow made them even more beautiful than they already were. His glasses were had slid down the bridge of his nose, and him light pink lips were curled into a sweet smile. I couldn't have asked for a better sight.  
Knowing I couldn't stare forever I made my way over to him, dropping my bag on the floor as I went. I sat on his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck and letting my legs dangle. He kissed me sweetly on the mouth, as he pulled me closer.  
"You're all wet? Did you forget an umbrella?" Phil asked me raising an eyebrow.  
"It's not that I forgot, I just like the rain. It's calming." He shook his head at me smiling.  
"Well that's not smart, you'll catch a cold you know. And you're freezing!" I simply shrugged my shoulders at his remark.  
But that wasn't a good enough answer, he quickly picked me up, dropping me onto the bed as he walked to his dresser. Rummaging through it quickly pulling out a hoodie and pajama pants. He tossed them toward me, they landed next to me on the bed with a soft splat.  
"Change." He said, "Before you get hypothermia."  
I laughed, quickly pulling my shirt over my head and replacing it with the dry one.  
____________________________________  
My clothes sat in a pile on the floor, leaving a wet stain on the carpet but neither of us cared enough to move them and clean up. There was more important things to do.  
We were now both laying on the bed, pulled close together looking into each other's eyes. It was comforting and safe, just us, and no one to ruin it. Though something was eating at me. And as much as I didn't want to be the one to potentially ruin the moment I knew I had to.  
"Phil?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Will you come with me when I leave?" I immediately saw his face drop, his eyes glossed over, no longer filled with joy.  
"You know I wish I could, but I can't Dan. I can't."  
"But why? You know you want to. You hate your dad so why stay with with him? Your mom didn't want you to stay either."  
A year ago Phil's mother grew ill. It was all very sudden and unexpected, she died within a month from a disease no doctor could figure out. Leaving Phil to live in their small apartment alone with his father, without his mother for a shield. Like mine, his father was not a good man. He had no job and relied on Phil to take care of him. Along with being a lazy asshole, he wasn't kind, never being physical violent but emotionally, to the point where his son was completely drained.  
"I know that he's evil, but I can't just leave him! And if I did and he found me he'd kill me! You know he would."  
"But I don't want to leave without you. I can't leave without you."  
"Then don't." He replied softly, blinking back tears.  
He pulled me into his chest holding me tightly, playing with my curls. I let tears roll down my cheeks and onto his shirt. We both knew that staying wasn't an option for me, though we couldn't admit it.  
____________________________________  
     Phil and I had gone on like normal for a month after that night.  But eventually the day for me to leave came.  I woke up to my alarm like usual, I pressed snooze as I rolled out of my single bed.  Quickly got dressed, and grabbed my backpack.  I raked through my drawers pulling out some clothes and shoving them into the pockets of the bag along with a few special things.  
     I ran down the stares and into the kitchen, there my mother stood, cooking breakfast for my brother and father.  I walked over to her, pulling her into a tight embrace.  
     "Heading to work early love?"  
     "Yeah, yeah I am."  
     "Alright, I'll see you later then, be careful."  
     "Okay, bye mom, love you."  
     "I love you too dear."  
     I turned away from her quickly as my tears began streaming down my face.  This was the last time I ever saw my mother.  
____________________________________  
    After work I made my way to Phil's, I could feel my body quiver as I made my way to see him.  We both knew that today was the day, but we had decided not to acknowledge it.  After all it's much easier to say 'see you later', than it is to say 'goodbye.'  
     He wasn't sat at his desk this time, instead on his bed.  I quickly made my way next to him.  
     "How was work today?"  
     "It wasn't as bad as usual surprisingly." I said with a giggle.  
     We continued to talk as usual for what seemed to be forever, until we drifted into a comfortable silence.  I scooted closer to the taller boy, he put his hand lightly under my chin pulling me into a soft kiss.  I wrapped my arms around his neck moving my hands into his hair deepening the kiss.  He lightly pressed his tongue against my mouth asking for permission, I quickly obliged letting him take the lead.  He moved his hands from my face down my body, putting them around my waist, swiftly lifting me into his lap.  My legs straddled him as his tongue explored my mouth.  From my waist his hands ventured even lower down to my ass, cupping it and squeezing.  I mounded lightly as we pulled apart for air.  
     With his hands still groping me, his mouth also began to make its was down, starting with sloppy kisses on the jaw, down onto my neck.  I slowly ground my crotch against his, feeling him grow beneath me.  He let out a groan letting me know he was pleased with the friction. He had now started sucking my neck causing me to let me to let out a string of loud moans.  
     "Please." I said breathily between moans.  
     He understood immediately, pulling away and pulling his shirt over his head before pulling mine off as well.  He then flipped up over so my back was flat to the bed.  He hovered over me fiddling with my belt until it finally came loose.  Moments later we were left in only our boxers separating our bodies.  He slowly hooks his fingers under my waist band, meeting my eyes as to ask for permission,  I vigorously nodded my head. I felt the cloth slowly fall down my legs and my cock rest on my stomach. I quickly pushed Phil off of me and dropped to my knees in front of him. I pulled his boxers down letting him spring free. I immediately took him into my mouth, bobbing my head desperately, looking into his eyes. He ran his hands through my hair grabbing onto it and pulling slightly. I moaned around him as he continued to tug. Eventually he pulled my mouth off of him with a satisfying pop. I looked up to him waiting for instructions.  
"Lay back on the bed."  
I did as he said, once again laying on my back. He walked over to his night stand opening the drawer and pulling out a half full bottle of lube before making his way back to the bed. He gave me a peck on the lips before pulling away and popping open the bottle. He poured a generous amount of the slippery substance onto his fingers, warming between them. Slowly he spread my legs, pressing one finger gently against my entrance before pushing it in slowly, I gasped as he curled the digit inside of me, eventually adding a second scissoring me open.  
"Please Phil, I need you."  
"Well since you asked so nicely."  
He pulled his fingers out and reached for the line once again, this time spreading it over his member. He stroked himself as he once again pressed against me before pushing in. I moaned loudly in pleasure as he stretched me open perfectly. Slowly but surely he began thrusting into me, making me moan consistently as strings of cuss words feel from my mouth.  
"Fuck aaah. Fuck Phil, harder please."  
Without any hesitation he began pounding into me, groaning as I tightened around him.  
"Fuck Dan. You're so fucking tight. Being so good for me, getting fucked like the slut you are." I moaned louder at his words, "You like that huh? Well cum for me then baby."  
I didn't need him to tell me, I was already writhing underneath him, as I came over my stomach and his chest. He sped up again riding out his orgasm, cumming inside me. Our breathe was heavy as we looked into each others eyes.  
"Goddamn you're beautiful." He said leaning down to kiss my cheek.  
____________________________________  
I woke up to Phil's arms wrapped around my chest. I looked over to the clock on the night stand, it was half past one. I carefully pulled my lovers arm off of me as I carefully exited his bed. I carefully navigated the floor finding my boxers and Phil's hoodie. I pulled them on quickly along with my jeans. I then found my backpack throwing my life over my shoulder.  
I looked around the room taking in every detail that I had seen so many times before. Until my eyes met Phil's sleeping form, I instantly felt my heart shatter into a million pieces. I eventually tore my eyes away and walked over to his desk, grabbing a pen and a sheet of paper, quickly scrawling him a note for when he woke up to an empty space beside him.  
For a good half hour I couldn't tear myself away from the desk chair, everything had suddenly become very real. But still I knew I had to do it. I pulled myself up, quickly walking to the window, taking one more look at Phil before hopping out to the fire escape.  
____________________________________  
Seven hours later I was sat on a bus with no clue where I was headed. All I had was the bad sitting next me, and Phil's hoodie on my back. And I wasn't sure how life would go on.  Even when I got off and began walking into the little town the bus had dropped me at I knew that this was the only option I had.  And that was it, I didn't look back.  I was finally gone.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed :), thank you for reading 
> 
> ~M


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